Friday, August 15, 2008

I Can't Do It On My Own

Things here are not just busy....they are a bit disorganized. In fact it's driving me crazy.

I had all these great intentions to get all these projects done around the house this summer...and...well...I had great intentions.

Now, in just a week and a half we start school again. Thankfully I have managed to get our school lives mostly together. You know, books and curriculum ordered and received. I still need to work out a daily schedule and some kind of rubric of expectations for Son.

Can I admit here that I'm feeling just a little...errr....overwhelmed? Not totally overwhelmed, just a little.

I really want to do an excellent, consistent job in educating Son and Daughter. I want to make sure that we cover as many bases as possible and that they will be able to stand on their own two feet when the time comes.

Sigh.

I think that every parent and every homeschooling parent struggles with many of the same feelings and questions I'm struggling with right now. And those are just the parenting concerns.

As a wife and mom I have a whole other list of goals I want to accomplish that concern the running of our home. Housekeeping goals, menu and feeding goals, gardening goals,...the list just goes on and on.

I want to be able to do all things well. I want to have a well oiled machine running here in our home in which the schooling and housekeeping are smoothly integrated. In which the kids recognize and do their part to keep it going.

I see in my minds eye how I want things to look and run and then I look at the reality and there is a minor gulf between the two.

And then....

And then I get down on my knees and I pray and I give it all up to Him. Because I recognize that I'm trying way to hard to do it in my own strength. I'm trying way to hard using my own feeble brain and my weak, weak muscles.

I realize I can't do it on my own.

Again.

This is not the first time I've had this revelation. Oh no. I've had this revelation at least a hundred times in the last year alone. Yet it's a lesson I keep having to go over again and again. Praise the Lord He is patient and willing to teach me again and again.

And since I'm learning my lesson yet again, I have decided to take a blogging break. I know I only manage to post once a week but right now I can't even do that in a timely fashion. So I'm going to give myself a break. One less thing on the plate to worry about, so to speak.

So...for the next six weeks...I'm taking a break from blogging. My idea (I refuse to call it a plan) is to return to the bloggy world around the beginning of October when hopefully things will have returned to some kind of predictable pattern and we are settled in our school routine.

Thank you for continueing to check up on me this summer and I hope that you will come back this fall. I really and truly appreciate every visit and comment I receive from all of you. And thanks for allowing me this time.

I will lift my eyes to the hills -
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.
Psalm 121:1~2

11 comments:

Gina said...

I'm so there myself. Enjoy your break!

Cyndy said...

Thank you Gina, I will!
:)

skoots1mom said...

i so admire moms who home school...i'm not that brave!
I pray you a gr8 transition into the school year and will keep you in prayers until you return...

when you have a time to rest, come read us while you're on hiatus and let this be your time of centering and taking in what the other bloggers are being led to type.

I'm trying to build my energy back up from having just had some surgery and it is proving harder than I thought, so I ask your prayers for stamina and strength.

Cyndy said...

I'll be praying for you Skoots!

Woman of Faith said...

I will miss reading your blog, Cyndy! I understand, though. We'll be starting at the same time you do. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Remember the really important things, and housework isn't one of them (did I just say that????). Really-focus on your family, like I know you do, and relax. It'll all come together.

Love ya!

Tina ♥ said...

Enjoy your break Cyndy...hope to see you in blogland again soon!

Love, Tina :)

Robin Lambright said...

Have a wonderful time of refocusing, God always directs us in the way we should go if we will allow ourselves to be lead by His hand.
I will be praying or you and your family (chickens included) during your break. I will be praying for clarity, peace, expansion of time and a clear direction as to where HE wants you to go!
Take care my sweet blogging sister, we will wait in expectation for your return!

Cyndy said...

Thank you Robin for your prayers...I do so covet them. I will be seeking out our Lord these next weeks and resting in Him as He shows me the way.

Cyndy said...

And thank you all for all your good wishes and prayers...see you soon!

Renae said...

It is good to actually plan a break. I just stop writing for a week here and there. I try not be feel under obligation.

I look forward to reading when you return refreshed and full of peace.

Blessings on your school year!

Jessica said...

I read your comment over at Sonshine Cottage. She is a dear friend and I am blessed to be able to go over to her house or she come over to mine. Although, we have not been able to do just that is some time...Once school settles in...right??? Anyway, I too have a 12 yr old and a 7 yr old (well he will be 8 this month) and hubby & I have been married 18 years. Love your blog.